It’s very seldom I get to come home. Sadly, I only get to return once, maybe twice a year, if that. The responsibilities that come with serving at work and church, not to mention living 900 miles away, make it difficult to make a return trip back. But when I do come back, I think most times spent at home are about the same for everyone. We sleep in, eat a ton of food (usually because our moms make so much for us- i’ve probably gained at least 5 lbs.) and spend a lot of time with friends catching up or just hanging out. I’m no different really. This is how I’ve spent most everyday of my vacation so far.

But this year has been different for me. In many ways, coming home wasn’t so merry as it had been in the past. Growing older and being caught up in the midst of family issues, as well as seeing old friends growing up and moving on, bring to mind a passage in Mark I read recently. I hadn’t really noticed it too much (it’s a common Sunday school passage) until I looked back on it today.

“And when he returned to Capernaum after some days, it was reported that he was at home.” Mark 2:1

This is the first verse of the passage in Mark where Jesus heals the cripple brought down through the ceiling. I don’t know if it was His home or not, but whoever’s home it was must have been pretty ticked off or at least a little annoyed. In any case, Jesus responds to the faith of this man and his friends by forgiving the man’s sins and healing him. In the process, He rebukes the scribes whose judgmental thoughts and attitudes towards His preaching and ministry kept them from hearing the truth.

But it’s this first verse that comes to mind as I think about my time at home. When I come home, everything else pretty much stops for me. If I want to hangout, I hangout. If I want to sleep in, I sleep in. If I want to eat more, I eat more. To be honest, vacation time is pretty selfish. Sure, I help out at church, help out my family and maybe even go to a retreat (or two or three), but when I pray “Lord, may this day be a day used for Your glory,” do I really mean it?

Jesus comes home, and no sooner than He can take His shoes off, He’s back to work again. And this isn’t just a couple of fanboys wanting autographs or groupies just hanging out, this is literally a houseful of people that are clamoring to hear him speak. All sorts of folks came from all over town- and the man just got back from days, maybe even weeks of preaching to thousands! Yet, through it all Jesus continues to faithfully preach the Good News and even deals patiently (nay, gracefully) with somebody literally dropping in on His message.

This is the ultimate example of a servant. Always prepared to serve when called with a right attitude and a passionate heart. Jesus’ desire is that God would be glorified wherever He was. His passion was God’s glory in every circumstance.

So does this jive with my (or our) view and attitude during our times at home? Does “What do I WANT to do today?” line up with “How can God be most glorified in my day?” I think if we took a hard look at the way we use our time at home- the time we spend with family and friends and even by ourselves- we would see a grave mismatch in attitude, motivation and action. As much as we SAY we want to live for God in our times at home, are we really prepared and ready to serve when God calls us to? At the very least, do we even spend personal time with God when we are at home?

It’s not wrong to spend time enjoying family, friends and community- Jesus did plenty of this. But more important that simply resting and relaxing, does our time at home reflect a zeal to reflect more of Jesus in our hearts and lives? Are we as ready to serve at home as we are away from home? I’m convicted that, most of the time, I’m not.

God grant me the grace and strength to live as You desire me to live in all places
-but especially at home. If I cannot be faithful here, where else can I be faithful?

Back into it with new resolve… =)

Just read this article from Christianity Today off of Justin Taylor’s site. It interviews Tullian Tchividjian, pastor of Coral Ridge Presbyterian Church. Recently, there has been a lot of turmoil in the church, leading to a congregational vote on whether he should remain pastor there after being formally hired in March of this year.

He gives a few good insights on retaining a good attitude through it all. I really think his sharing about how to deal with those that don’t agree with you is rebuking to me personally.

I have a love-hate relationship with my free time.

After getting home from work and putting things in order, it is so easy to get into the “me-time” mode and just stay there. Granted, every person needs some time to rest and recharge, but I’m talking about more than just a restful hour- I’m talking wasted nights.

Earlier in the year, I made it a point not to use my computer much when I got home from work. I use it (and the internet) throughout the work day and so, I thought, it would be nice to just put it away for awhile. I’d found that most of the free hours I spent at home after work were spent aimlessly surfing random websites, trolling Facebook or watching video after video on Hulu. My grand experiment lasted all but a month, but it was a refreshing month- I read more, wrote more, prayed more and got to bed earlier (which equals more sleep- another love-hate relationship there).

So here I am again. Now serving in small group again, with my schedule becoming ever more packed, the  free hours I have are a precious few. The Bible tells us to redeem all the time we have – including our free time. It’s all God’s anyway.

So I am setting my free time free- for real. Gonna put the computer away, open up a window and learn to really enjoy and recharge well with the open hours I have.  What does this mean? It means taking the time to refocus, not wholly for the sake of my own worldly comfort, but to find the deeper rest and comfort in Christ during the free times because they are the times when character and fortitude is built up.

And for a broader view on this and the how technology has affected our lives as a whole, a video I found on Justin Taylor’s site

We’ll see how this goes again. Looking forward to not reading these after work

I remember some of my first days in school- Kindergarten in Ms. Weisman’s KB1 class. There was that uneasy queasiness about it all. Feeling like  a stranger amidst a whole group of strangers, yet at the same time wildly excited to meet new people. Inevitably, we’d be told to sit down for story time and things would get a bit more interesting, less awkward. My favorite times, though, were the times we would have gym. More than the running around, I absolutely LOVED playing with the parachute. Our teacher would tell us to circle up, grab the edge of that parachute and shake it. I think I loved these times the most because it was the one time nobody felt uncomfortable- we were all shaking that parachute up together as a team, a family even. Nobody was judging, competing or besting- we were just doing it together. I grinned from ear to ear during those times. All the cares and assignments of the day melted away.

Today after large group, and after a great meal at Courier Cafe, we stood in a circle. We chatted about small stuff- ball, movies, missions training and Mini-Os. But, for a moment, I recaptured a little bit of that “parachute” feeling.  It was wonderful. Praise God for those small moments and little graces. I’m thankful for the people in my life.

God, how could You be so good?

“Life is about living out the questions — not necessarily coming up with the answers,” she replied. “I would hope that you would find yourself moving to a deeper level of questions, insights, spiritual growth, and with that a yearning for the Presence of the Divine. Prayer would naturally be a part of the process — and we would work out a way for you to pray that would fit your style of life and your unique spiritual journey.”

The NY Times Magazine had an article this week entitled ” The Right Way to Pray?” I thought it was an interesting exploration by a non-believer into the lives of people from different faith backgrounds (here Christianity- both Catholic and Evangelical- as well as Judaism).

For me the most startling thing was the way prayer was portrayed by these people. I could understand the inquisitive and skeptical sentiment of the writer, but it was hard to see the people of faith (notably Christians) waif in their talk of prayer.  It wasn’t so much the differing methods of prayer that people had, but that they totally left out the aspect that prayer is supposed to be a relational exchange with a personal God.

Too often, for me, prayer becomes just what the article is speaking to- a method, a task, an experience. I pray to feel better about myself or about my situation, I pray to get what I want, I pray because something that matters to me is not all in sorts. But when we look at the Bible, when we see the example of Moses and Jesus, prayer is much deeper than mere “Gimme! Thanks! Oops! and Wow!” (how a rabbi in the article categorizes prayers).

On the surface, these may be true, but truth be told, prayer is so much more. It is the means of interaction we have with a person, who happens to be God! We could, in theory, throw all our conversations with friends and loved ones into those categories, but that’s not what we remember. What we remember was that, at that very moment, we were present with people we care for and who, usually, care for us and that we were sharing in each others’ lives.

This is where prayer should find its basis. In Christ, God reached out to us, desiring to bring us back into a deeper relationship with Him.  It’s in this relationship, and the way we are changed through it, that brings God great joy.  He wants to hear from us.  He wants us to talk to Him. He longs to  hear about how our days went.  He wants us to let him carry our worries and concerns. He wants us to see the bigger picture and understand what is best for our lives.  He wants us to confess our wrong doing and ask Him to help us do right.

And when prayer becomes as natural and awesome as your talking with your best friend, it becomes a sweet and lovely thing, something you cannot wait to do!

So more than the right WAY to pray, we should be thinking about WHO we pray to- a loving God who sought us out first and opened up a direct line to Himself through Christ so that we could become the people we were meant to be.

John Piper writes a great short article on missions and how we preserve the meaning of the Gospel in our lives and our world.

Link is here.

I go to a small Bible study group out here where I am (the cornfields of Midamerica) where we are studying the book of Ecclesiastes. Interestingly enough, we took this book over an epistle or major prophet, so people were definitely excited for what we would learn.

To sum it up, we leave every Bible study a little bit more confused than when we first got there, but with this particular book, that’s ok!

One particular thing that has been challenging me out of the confusion that is Ecclesiastes is that my life is really normal and, to a degree, full of meaninglessness.

“Then I saw that all toil and all skill in work come from a man’s envy of his neighbor. This also is vanity and a striving after wind.” – Ecc. 4:4

I mean, how meaningful can my work day be? I do pretty much the same tasks everyday, for most of the same people, and we all work in the same building doing the same thing we always do. It doesn’t change much and, to be honest, there isn’t much actually accomplished in the long run. My times outside of work are spent puttering around running errands, shopping for food or clothes, or doing church things. It all seems kinda…bland and tasteless on the outset.

Yet, at the same time, God has given us grace enough to enjoy even the trivial, meaningless things in life- “He has made everything beautiful in its time.” I can relish in walking through the park in spring, playing with little babies or reminiscing on when I was a kid. Then I see that my exceedingly normal life is full of moments of beauty, joy, love, pain, and growth that, while not eternally lasting, enrich us to such a degree as to be a full on blessing of God on our tiny lives.

So how to apply this? How does this change the way I live my life? Personally, I need to cherish the people in my life more. Even if they’re not the closest friends, they are still a person whom God has placed in my way for our mutual good (Rom 8:28). Whether in small group, the office or at home, I really need to stop taking people for granted and care for them and enjoy being with them at the moment.

Also, I need to learn to stop worrying so much. Not only does it betray a lack of faith, but it steals the little joys in life that God gives to man to show us how much He loves us and to make our lives on this miserable planet a little brighter.

God, how could you be so good to me? Not only did you save my soul, but you gave me the capability to enjoy both the deep and shallow things of life. Father, what more can I do but to live gratefully and consciously act to please and honor You?

While flipping through the updates on Desiring God, I found this little article. John Piper clarifies and explains reasons why he personally doesn’t watch TV or go to many movies. The quote below really resonated with me in particular:

“TV consumes more and more time for those who get used to watching it. You start to feel like it belongs. You wonder how you could get along without it. I am jealous for my evenings. There are so many things in life I want to accomplish. I simply could not do what I do if I watched television.”

Growing up in front of the TV, it has been such a struggle to pull myself away sometimes. It’s even harder today with sites like Hulu and Youtube that make television and movie entertainment so accessible, on top of all the other entertainment on the net. In the name of relaxation, even innocuous, non-sexual entertainment (SportsCenter, AC 360, Food Network, etc.) can just steal my time away. God’s really been convicting me about this a lot lately.

Any thoughts?

For the past 4 years, having gone through and just graduated college, the summer months have been a time for me to digest and process a lot of the lessons and words gained over the past school year. For the most part, I don’t get much done…but this year is different. A lot more time has opened up and, for the first time, I feel I’m finally learning what it means to organize the chaos in my head. So, primarily for my own reminder, but also for your uplifting- some practical lessons I’ve learned in that…

1.WRITE (not type) everything down. One of the beautiful things about this post-modern age is that there is all manner of opportunity to write down what you’re thinking at any one moment. Twitter, blogs, facebook…they’re all out there. But I’ve found the best, and probably the most genuine, form of thoughtful expression is the written (with pen and paper) word. There is really something almost ethereal about turning the thought into word with your own hand. Writing helps slow down what you think and form sentences and concepts from those thoughts. Just try summing up your day on paper- you’ll find out a lot more about yourself than you knew.

2. PLAN out time to “digest.” Me at the buffet at KFC (pretty picture?),  having gorged myself on the beauty of fried chicken, gravy and all-you-can-eat sides, I sit back and fall into the sweet embrace of…food coma. Our bodies need time to digest, so our minds need time to process. We’re content to relax after dinner, but we seldom allow ourselves time to process thought. Force yourself to plan out a time to process the thoughts of the day/week/month/year. Set aside at least 2 hours every week intentionally to organize your thoughts (with pen and paper), ask yourself questions, make decisions and commit things to prayer. You’ll find that, just like digesting helps us grow physically, taking some “mind digestion” time will help you grow as a person in thought and word.

3. Look back constantly. Remember those days? Can you believe you actually thought that? I don’t understand why some people think it’s a bad thing to consider the past. We are who we are because of where we have come from- even the pain and the suffering. For me, it’s the best feeling in the world to find something I wrote or “drew” when I was younger. It stands as a visual reminder of who I once was, who I am now…and the potential for the future. As you write and collect your thoughts, turn back often and remember.

4. Be an avid reader. When I was around 9, my mom made me a very interesting and lucrative offer. If I could commit to reading and writing about 100 books in a year, she would get me the one thing every little boy wanted then- a nintendo entertainment system. So I set out basically reading every interesting book I could find (and understand…) and writing a short summary for each one. And until today, the interest and thirst borne of my mom’s dare keeps my nose buried in at least one (if not two) book at any time. Reading others’ thoughts and stories allows us to develop our own ways of thoughtful expression. Most people tend to learn best from imitation, so why not see how the best and most interesting writers express their thoughts…and COPY them? Let their modes and methods of expression become a part of us and let their thoughts push us to think. You’ll find that your personal thoughts will become richer and that you’ll be better able to find the words to express those thoughts when you need to.  You’ll also gain a humbler sense of identity realizing just how much each of our unique experiences and thoughts show us just how much we are really all alike.

Depth in thoughtful reflection and expression is a dying trait today. Our culture is so caught up in the “run and gun” lifestyle that we don’t allow ourselves to think. And in that sense, no matter how much we know or learn, we never really gain anything because it never really becomes a part of who we are. We need time to order the chaos, to take stock and inventory of what we’ve heard and done, and in doing so, we actually grow and mature as people and communities.

With a free hour,  a drink, a journal and a pen, the possibilities are endless.